There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
