lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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