fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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