Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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