Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
