Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
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