your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
