Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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