i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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