we have officially lost it.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
