I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
