U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
