i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
