Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
