it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
