You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
