if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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