when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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