farters have to be the big spoon...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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