the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
