no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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