i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
