Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize