The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
