is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
