NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think im going to throw up on grandma
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
