can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
