The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize