at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
