The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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