Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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