i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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