i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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