Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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