The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
