He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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