all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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