I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
BRING THE BAGELS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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