then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
how drunk are you?
Several
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
