Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
