were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
