She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already put on my inside pants.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize