I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i now understand why vodka
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
