Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
