If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Drake has all the answers
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
