Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
