yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
