Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
