Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
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don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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