At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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