i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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