he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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