If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i think i just lost a toe
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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