i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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