If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
