Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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